You can’t say anything anymore! G’wan, say something there… hmm? What’s that? Exactly, you can’t! We’re all being silenced and now they’re coming for our grannies. Our sweet and lovely little grannies who like knitting and Fair City and can’t wait for our next visit so they can slip a fiver into our grateful little hands. And what do they want in return but a measly little hug? But noooo, ‘the woke’ won’t let us because they’re anti-granny, anti-hugs, and anti-folded-fivers-being-slipped-into-our-hands. Lord God above won’t somebody, anyone, save us?
Have no fear, the Justice Minister is here! The Justice Minister is tough on crime and big on hugs. He may not have achieved anything of substance over the last year and a half in government, but he takes no nonsense and loves a cuddle. He would like to be the Taoiseach and knows exactly how to do it.
Last week, the Minister defended the nation from one of its most dastardly nemeses, the Dublin Rape Crisis Centre… wait what? The DRCC’s advertisement outlining a child’s right to consent to physical contact was criticised by him as ‘both inappropriate and demeaning to grandparents’. Well it must’ve been pretty bad, so what exactly happened?
Full column in this week’s Print & Digital Edition.
