Bad news, there’s plenty of it! I wonder have you heard who’s died? Only your favourite, I know, I know. Isn’t it terrible, but weren’t they mega? Mega, absolutely MEGA. And it was only last week as well that yer one passed away! I know! That’s right, that’s right. And then yer man! Oh, didn’t you see? Well I’m sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but just wait till you hear what happened…
We love a celebrity death. It sounds bad, but we do. A quick scroll can prove it. You’ll find endless posts ‘paying tribute’ to the various people ‘we’ve lost’ this year. Where does your favourite rank? Did they make the top ten saddest? Don’t worry, just give it time. They’re up in heaven now jamming with Jimi Hendrix and Janis Joplin, while Charlie Chaplin dances. In fact, I’ve made a little AI-image if you’d like to look?
What’s that, you’re bored? Okay never mind. C’mere, have you ever seen an industrial press demolish a banana? What about a grapefruit? I’ve got all kinds of things we can crush together. Apples, oranges, iPhones, tellies. We can make ‘em all go SPLAT! It’s really very entertaining. Something about it just relaxes me. I could watch them all day long.
Full column in this week’s Print & Digital Edition.
